he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
