You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
