we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
