she looked like the before picture.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
