I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
