dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
