I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
