yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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