so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
