Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Less talking, more tequila
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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