its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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