is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
