just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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