I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
