Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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