I hate all girls vehemently.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
