Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
