Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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