i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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