"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
