she was so not down for the gang bang
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
