Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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