Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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