Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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