I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
