You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
