Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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