just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
