i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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