Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
