Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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