Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
