my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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