I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
