i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
