If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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