Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
