If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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