You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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