The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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