Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
