the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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