Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
