Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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