Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm drive I can fine osifer
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
