Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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