And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
