Screwed.edu
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
