When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
