I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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