You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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