Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
