Its about making memories worth repressing
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
