Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude i'm inner monologue high
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
